I voted Tory and caused havoc in the polling booth

For the first time in my life I have voted Conservative. There was no Lib Dem candidate and Labour won’t win round here. This ward is solid Resident Association.

I find the whole concept of the Resident Association as a political force bizarre. It’s like a form of soviet democracy. Each street elects a street rep. The person that goes to most meetings seems to get appointed the Council candidate (or something like that, I’ve never been).

Their leaflets are full of derogatory comments about party politics. But at least with party politics, you have some idea of the values and principles an individual candidate may believe in. A Tory may support more efficient government and a Labour person in a fairer society – what the hell is a Residents Association supposed to stand for?

In reality, they are the most ‘small c’ conservative NIMBY’s in politics today – they oppose every change. During the campaign, a Resident Association canvasser asked me whether they could count on my vote. I told him ‘no, as I don’t support the position they take on planning issues.’ He responded by asking whether they had not objected to a particular planning application. He seemed totally perplexed when I told him that I thought improving ones home or providing a new house could be a good thing!

So anyway, as I walked closer to the polling station, first thing this morning, every house seemed to have a green stake board in the garden with the slogan “if you care about our village…. Vote Resident Association.” (political parties clearly don’t care about the village)

As I arrived at the polling station, the Resident Association teller had parked his car, which was emblazoned with more crass slogans about defending the village, directly outside.

Inside, I placed my cross against the Conservative candidate, placed my paper in the ballot box and asked the Presiding Officer whether the Resident Association were allowed to display their posters directly outside the polling station.

The Presiding Officer followed me out, and said to the teller, “is that your car? This gentleman has complained. Can you move it?”

I put my head down and walked on but I wanted to stop and say “no, that’s not the point. It doesn’t matter if I’ve complained. They’ve either broken the rules or they haven’t.”

Anyway, the grumpy Resident Association teller moved his car… into one of the surrounding streets. Hey, don’t the Resident Association oppose that sort of thing – parking in someone else’s street. One rule for commuters, another for the Residents Association.

Well, they’ll have the last laugh – they’ll be re-elected tonight.